sheholdsyoucaptivated:

Kate Moss, circa 1990s

It’s not so much a storm,
but just a cloud that lives inside of me
he doesn’t stir so easily these days,
but when he wakes he goes the distance
in a marathon of days too long
open containers that sing songs,
“you’ll never dream again,
but you can pray”

i guess we only settle in to what we know
i guess we always settle in, and we know.
that there is comfort in a world
where darkness is the only thing we see
and cold is all we have to breathe
where affectations keep us company,
where the lies we tell to the eyes that roll in doubt
are somehow out of our control.

it’s not about the scars, but more the crowds that walk all over me
they don’t give up too easily these days,
but when they break they go to pieces.
fall apart right here in north side bars
under a sky that knows no stars
you’ll never shine again,
but you will stay.

i guess we only settle in to what we know
i guess we always settle in, and we know.
that there is comfort in a world
where darkness is the only thing we see
and cold is all we have to breathe
where affectations keep us company,
where the lies we tell to the eyes that roll in doubt
are somehow out of our control.
we lost control.

“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”

–

Elizabeth Gilbert

Fighting your inner demons, your past and all of your insecurities has been an ongoing battle for you, but at some point people need to make the changes and stop playing victim. You can only allow someone to be completely self-absorbed for so long before something comes along that you need help with and they’re too detached to be there.

More than anything, I miss her smile. The little things, in reality, are the big things. And I miss her smile. Her smile was my hope that life was going to work out and we’d be happy. Despite all of the pain, I picture her smile and I hope she gets it back