I have a horrible knack of screwing everything up and not communicating when things can probably be fixed.

tristamateer:

I hope one day
somebody loves you
so much

that they see violets
in the bags under your eyes,
sunsets in the downward arch
of your lips,

that they recognize you
as something green,
something fresh and still growing,
even if sometimes
you are growing sideways,

that they do not waste their time
trying to fix you.

House of Fun- Madness

In a bit of irony, I wanted to repost a video that was posted by my recent ex-girlfriend on one of her many Tumblr pages. My ex is obsessed with a guy she dated over 25 years and who cheated on her and was a complete jerk. Despite getting married for 20 years and having 3 kids, she clings to her obsession every time she is depressed. She bases a lot of her “worth” on how that creep treated her. Even though I caught her attempting to contact this ex and stalking him thousands of times, I love her very deeply and I figured one day she would grow up. No matter how many of her Tumblr pages I found, despite the fact that I even blocked Tumblr sites in the router, she could not control herself and continued blogging depressing song lyrics and things she feels are okay. Mind you, she would have never tolerated this behavior from me. So despite how much I loved and love her, no matter what I tried to do to build a great life between us, she chooses to torture herself with the past and not to move on. I’m far from perfect, I’m an emotional mess as well. But in a relationship, you need to trust each other and you seek comfort. And at the times I needed her the most, she was the most self-centered. And since I’m not a psychologist and she was so adamant that her bloggings and obsessions with the past are normal, I built up resentment. That changed my behavior to her and eventually I ran out of complete patience. I’ll always love her, she’s the most incredible woman I have ever met or known. But until she realizes how much she is holding herself back, she will never be able to happy. And if she can’t be happy, no one with her will ever able to be either. I will always miss her.

themostawesomemuse:

“Royal Canadian blended
The spicy aroma had mended me
Matured for years and imported
Into my glass you poured it

And you’re the only reason
That I remain unfrozen
Suppose it stands to reason
That you would turn on me”

I had a sister with a serious alcohol addiction during my teen years . I remember a particularly embarrassing episode when I was entertaining my perfect boyfriend late one evening. So , it was surprising to me that I found myself not only developing my own dependency but choosing the exact same poison. Whiskey. Even though it is an acquired taste, I persevered and eventually loved it far more than I should have. Funny thing is, I only really got this lyric recently, long after I began my own personally imposed rehab.